butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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