You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
