i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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