I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize