Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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