its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
