I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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