I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
