You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
