I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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