so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
