No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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