...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im six kinds of drunk right now
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
