You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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