Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
