Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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