What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
