Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
