You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
