Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
