Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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