So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize