I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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