I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
