sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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