I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
