Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
