in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So many bounce houses so little time
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
