So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
