so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
