i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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