he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
