We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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