and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
