summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
