Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize