The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Send help, water and tortillas.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize