can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
