Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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