I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
