i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
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It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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