around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
