Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.

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(916): View more from California

I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn

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(925): View more from California

While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently

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(360): View more from Washington

Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.

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