Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(772): View more from Florida

Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend

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(772): Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend http://tfl.nu/ot3u

Replies (3) Good night (844) Bad night (1061)
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(415): View more from California

I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.

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(415): I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it. http://tfl.nu/np4v

Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (1142)
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(720): View more from Colorado

i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc

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(720): i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc http://tfl.nu/g2b1

Replies (59) Good night (2125) Bad night (1024)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail

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(205): Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail http://tfl.nu/2rgt

Replies (8) Good night (1176) Bad night (1649)
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(317): View more from Indiana

it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely

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(317): it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely http://tfl.nu/75r5

Replies (8) Good night (4048) Bad night (597)
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(734): View more from Michigan

SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!

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(734): SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO! http://tfl.nu/43s5

Replies (100) Good night (1134) Bad night (22562)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.

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(978): Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially. http://tfl.nu/gw0l

Replies (24) Good night (9284) Bad night (808)
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(630): View more from Illinois

he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage

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(630): he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage http://tfl.nu/nrg5

Replies (39) Good night (1223) Bad night (13368)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.

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(540): I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse. http://tfl.nu/5mjb

Replies (8) Good night (4695) Bad night (1043)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.

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(505): I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight. http://tfl.nu/l9kd

Replies (5) Good night (4087) Bad night (933)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night

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(952): I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night http://tfl.nu/yysc

Replies (3) Good night (2576) Bad night (1024)
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(520): View more from Arizona

We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.

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(520): We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis. http://tfl.nu/wjfa

Replies (9) Good night (3307) Bad night (1131)
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(419): View more from Ohio

There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.

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(419): There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night? (1-419): Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass. http://tfl.nu/devs

Replies (12) Good night (1720) Bad night (566)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...

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(321): I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward... http://tfl.nu/s7n4

Replies (9) Good night (1301) Bad night (533)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.

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(720): Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence. http://tfl.nu/jsvt

Replies (9) Good night (1057) Bad night (477)

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