Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.