the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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