I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
