Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
