I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
