Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dick very happy bro
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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