I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
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Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
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i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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