i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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