Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog