If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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