were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Randomize
