Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
