Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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