Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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