My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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