Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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