just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I can text with my tongue
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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