Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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